Ghosting Guy. Pt.1

As of recently, I have not been one to step out of my comfort zone too often. If and when I do, it is done pretty strategically after weighing the pros and cons.

So, after about a year away from the dating scene I decided to return. Giving vulnerability another try. Looking back, I feel my attempt in the first round fell through due to the stage of life I was in. I wasn’t ready to meet anyone serious because I wasn’t taking myself seriously and in return found myself disappointed when all guys wanted to do was to suck my toes. “Not until after the first date," I would tell them. By that I mean, “Not my cup of tea sir, move along.” 

But it wasn’t all bad and toe sucking. Rejoining the dating scene allowed me to have conversations with all different types of people, to be pursued, and to also entertain getting a free meal out of it. Besides, the reality of any of these guys getting to meet me in person was slim, so why not have a good time while we’re at it, right?

It had only been a day or two on the app when I swiped right on this gorgeous man from out of state. He seemed approachable enough to engage. My pick-up line went something along the lines of “What song gets you on the dance floor because, in order to get to round two, I need to know you have good taste in music” 😏 clever right? I thought so especially seeing that I had mentioned I was looking for a date to my brother’s wedding in my bio next to a picture of me and my granny. (How can you turn down a girl who loves her grandma??)

Nearly moments later and to my surprise he responded. And with questions! 

If your wondering, sometimes engaging in online dating is like talking to fish through a glass. Some will swim towards you and stay awhile, while others see you speaking to them and will instead choose not to participate. They’ll keep swimming. Which, okay is understandable, but the most annoying thing you could do is respond to a question with nothing following. Especially on an app where the objective is to get to know someone. “Oh, you think I’m going to be the only one asking all the questions? Boy bye!”

However, with Guy it was different. Not only did he respond but he was taking initiative, showing interest, and wanting to meet up. 

Was I playing hard to get? No. 

Am I easy? Maybe. 

Did I soak up every bit of the attention? Absolutely! 

And boy was it was refreshing. It’s literally the only word I can think of to describe what it felt like to engage with a guy who appeared to genuinely care and want to know more about me. 

So we planned to meet. And ya girl was nervous. Would you believe me if I said this was my first date ever with a guy? Would you believe me if I said I spent 3 hours in Target preparing? Would you believe me if I said I told all my closest girlfriends? Not only was it a date for me but for the whole crew. Something we all have been a part of for each other and my turn had finally come. With him agreeing to meet up with me sent my affirmation levels to the roof. Just knowing that he wanted to get to know me made me feel like I was floating. (And I did. I floated my happy butt in that Target on the phone with a girlfriend for 3 hours until I found all I needed for this date. Best believe I was going to be cute). 

It may seem as though I was really making a big deal about this first date but there are no words to describe what it felt like to feel wanted. I would say a nicely shaken cocktail of desperation and confidence with a pinch of lime mixed into one. I wanted nothing more than to be made to feel beautiful at that moment. Understanding, however, this notion had been curated from years of scaring experiences of my past. But that’s a (series of) post for another time. 

Okay, to the good part. 

So we agreed on a place to meet. I got there early because I was nervous as tits and walked around a bit to cool my pits. And when he called me to see where I was I swear I dropped 10 lbs in that Macy’s. Nevertheless, was able to gather myself, fix my hair one last time, and put on my brightest smile because there was no turning back. 

And y'all…

He was Lovely. Every bit of 6’3”, kind, polite, and charming. But then again... who isn’t when you first met them? 

We were out for a good four hours chopping it up very unaware of time. Sat at a restaurant to munch on an appetizer we barely ate, walked around slowly through a shopping center, grabbed two scoops of gelato, then sat and people watched and told outrageous stories about ourselves. In the end, to top off the night, we sat on a cushioned bench and got to know each other long after the moon and stars were out. Truly the best date. 

Then things got weird. 

Haha no, I’m just kidding. It takes a few days before it does. 

That night Guy had given me hope. He was showing the type of attention I had only dreamt of as a young girl watching movies and believing them to be the gospel. Guy was ambitious about his life, his career, his family, and now in his efforts towards me. He had reminded me that guys like this are real and not just fictional characters from books. I did not have to dream of one any longer because there was one sitting right in front of me in real life.

I know what you might be thinking, "Where you getting your hopes up a little too much Simone?"

My answer is: Yes. Yes, I was. So what? 
Should I not dream and then go about dreaming bigger? Should I live a life continuing to believe the worst in people and situations, believing that things just won’t work out? Have I stopped giving life, love, and especially myself a chance on the things yet to come? No, no, a thousand times, no!

I know that's what you thought because the same came across my mind early on as well. However, at that moment, I chose a different outlook on the situation. I had a choice to live in fear or to live in faith. To make a million scenarios out of the ways this would not work, or to choose to see nothing ahead and to pursue it anyway. Simply because the answer wouldn’t be discovered until I walked through it. Who knows, Guy could really pull this off…

So I chose faith.